Suzannah Scully wrote a wonderful letter to her twenties something year old self. It inspired me to write a letter to my 20-something year old self.
Since I found my twenties to be particularly challenging, I thought this was a great idea.
So, here it is:
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Dear 20-something Diana,
I know everything feels so uncertain right now. You are living in Washington, DC, working where many people dreamed of getting positions and while you love everyone you work with, you hate the risks. You want to get your driver's license. You want to study the law. You want to expand your horizons. You are single and out almost every night. You have some challenges that some people do not have.
Let me begin by telling you how proud I am of you for moving to and living in DC. It was an eye-opening experience in many ways. And while it's challenging, you will grow and learn from these experiences.
It's not fun being single. Being single can really suck, I know. You think you are never going to find someone. If there is one thing I can tell you, it is while you think you are ready to meet someone, you are not. You still have so many amazing things to experience. Travel to Europe. Lunch in the House of Lords (Parliament) with a friend of your favorite professor. Working in DC. Working with people who treat you as if you are smart enough to hold a conversation.
You will have some frustrating experiences. You will learn eventually how to handle these "setbacks" with a sense of humor and move on.
Moving to Washington, DC, was one of the best decisions you made despite the fact that it is the "mecca" for a world that you never belonged to in the first place. Living in DC, you will meet amazing people, some of whom remain your friends today.
Prior to life in Washington, DC, you were taking classes (you never were a big fan of this subject) for a few months, you gained almost thirty pounds. Although you are aware of where you came from, there is always someone telling you how you "should live your life". Not only are you taking classes, but you are wasting your time with people with whom you have nothing in common with.
You will learn about yourself. You will learn that you cannot please everyone. You will lose these extra pounds by gradually changing things in your life and gaining a better understanding of how to live an authentic life. You will meet and befriend people, whom you will admire and want to emulate. You will be cordial towards those from another lifetime ago and wish them well. You will value the time you spend with your support team of friends and family.
About that decision to have Cochlear Implant surgery. Right now, it's something in the back of your head. Just a thought. But I know that you worry about how that decision will affect your life. Will you hear as well as you heard before you had meningitis? Will the CI be better than the hearing aids, which was white noise? Will you find an adequate auditory trainer? And you worry that you will not have the support that you deserve. Let me be here to tell you that having the surgery is one of the best decisions you will ever make. While no one really understands it, remember that they are not you. They cannot see the world through your eyes. They do not know what you need. Only you do.
I think that is the most important thing I can tell you. You are not everyone else. What works for other people does not necessarily work for you. While taking risks and facing challenges is often hard, it pays off in the end.
So, listen to your intitution. Do not worry about "how" you should live your life or "when" things are supposed to happen. Do not worry about how you "should" feel about this or that. You feel how you feel.
Amazing things that you never imagined will happen to you after the first surgery. You will develop a love for classical music. You will be able to listen to music without getting an headache, which occurred with hearing aids. You will meet different people (from people in your old life), whom you would never have met.
And all of those nights that you stay up writing in a journal about how frustrated you are in dealing with some unnecessary challenges and brainstorming possible modifications to minimize these challenges, guess what, you are going through that for a reason. You may end up with a better understanding of yourself and others. But you have to go through it first to reach that place.
Life can be a challenge. There will always be challenges.
Oh, and about that life you are so worried you are never going to have. Guess what? You meet many wonderful people, whom you'd have never had the opportunity to meet because you took reasonable risks. You are living an authentic life.
